My Name is Not Love

is that seeing me will make you fuck her three times harder.

i do not want to meet you.

i do not want to know you.

i do not want to see you.

i do not want to hear you.

and i certainly do not want you to know i am human.

I’m doing a lot better by myself. I have mended some broken fences (one in particular that has taken way too long to get over) and practiced living happily with myself. I don’t need a boyfriend, and certainly not Him as a boyfriend. there is a lot to be said for overcoming love. It’s so hard to fall into in the first place, but when it became destructive and caused me to forget who I am, falling out of it was the most important action I have made so far in this life.

it’s hard not to be bitter. probably the biggest thing i’ve ever struggled with. and i’ve struggled with a hell of a lot.

i found a letter that he wrote me in the summer after one of our fights.

it was really sweet.

he told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me.

i wish i hadn’t found it.

knowing that kind, beautiful person i fell in love with doesn’t exist anymore makes me saddest of all.

my second tattoo:

when we were in love:

(courtesy of lindsey goldstein)

SOME high school memories:

Bagheera (and my bangs):

Lady Gaga:

that’s it for now.